JP 生存的12法則第三章心得（JP’s book review “Make Friends with people who want the best for you”）

這篇主要大概在說我們該如何選擇周遭的朋友，我們必須選擇讓希望我們變更好的朋友，且在沒有理解悲劇背後的原因時，並沒有義務幫助那些老是發生不幸的朋友。

I think this chapter’s main point is to consider which people we choose to surround ourselves with. In addition, it talks about the fact that we don’t have the obligation to help someone especially if we do not know if their story is true or not.

身為一個左膠，我以前大概是同情心氾濫，但我從未懷疑那些聲稱自己不信的人告訴我的故事為真與否。我以為同情他人是身為人類的道德底線，所以即使我知道室友收入很低，也是願意搬入和他一起住，當時心想不能歧視窮人，即使我知道他媽是強劫犯以及他曾經是遊民。我依然決定相信他的品德和他一起簽約。但一起入住之後，他不斷的和我借錢，在失去工作之後，他甚至搞消失完全不付房租。

As an elitist person who occupies the left wing, I used to have too much sympathy towards someone who claims that they have experienced some tragedy; but I never evaluated whether if their story was true or not. Take myself as example. I used to think, as a left winger, that it is a basic principle of being a decent person to have some sympathy for the poor. So, I decided to live with a friend who was receiving low wage as an experiment. Living with him, I came across a few realizations. I think I cannot discriminate against the poor. I learned that he had a miserable family whose father robbed people and he was essentially homeless. However, I still decided to trust this person and sign the contact with him to rent an apartment. But unfortunately, something had happened. He had suddenly lost his job and had completely went into hiding to avoid paying for his portion of the rent and to return all the money that he had borrowed from me.

讓我想起他以前就告訴我他活到現在還沒有存款是因為及時行樂，喜歡把錢花在買香菸、買零食上。如果我回到過去，我大概知道紅燈應該要避而遠之對財務沒有責任心的男人。我應該去理解他為什麼會有今天的狀況，而不是無條件的幫助他。

I remembered that he told me the reason he had no savings was because he used his money to buy candy and cigarettes. I really did not know how to help him. If I could go back to make the decision again, I probably would have been more aware of the fact that he had a track of financial instability and lack of responsibility and thus would have acted accordingly. I should find out why a person is in the situation that they are in but also should keep in mind that they are not always a victim of their situation.

JP的書並沒有說我們不應該幫助別人。他強調了，我們必須去了解他會有今天的緣故的原因，而非單純的假定對方是受害者，如此你會剝奪對方解決他自身的問題的能力。

Jordan Peterson has not mentioned that we do not need to help people. Part of his idea is that if we help people without any deeper understanding of their situation, then we may also strip their power to fix their own problem.

雖然JP提到，我們必須和希望我們變更好的人交朋友，但他並沒有提到如果別人希望的好不是真正的好的話該如何是好，這點是直得我們探討的。

We should always seek for friends who actually hope for our development and self-improvement and to also not just spoil us. But what if someone’s opinion is not correct? Peterson’s book does not mention this point.